We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
