is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
