He kissed a someone with a penis
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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