I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
