this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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