i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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