If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
