What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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