um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize