best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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