The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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