I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
