...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
