i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
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