4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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