Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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