Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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