she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
