I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
