I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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