I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
