For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
