I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
