im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
