Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
