You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
