Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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