After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
