My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
