So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
