Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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