I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
