we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
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My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
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Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You are a genius and a whore.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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