you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
