I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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