is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize