oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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