i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
