I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
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