You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
