i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
