do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
