im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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