Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
