i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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