I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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