I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
