I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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