I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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