Taylor Swift is so right about you.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize
