Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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