He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
