Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Randomize
