Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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