Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
