I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize