No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
