No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
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also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
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HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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