there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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