allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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