A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
