Tell her she can't have a vagina
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize