Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You were trust falling into bushes
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
