The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
