she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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