Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize