I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
